2011 April « Tao of Cao

One Thing that Irks me…

I’m a forgiving kind of guy and I really try to understand people, I really do. I find them intriguing and interesting. I find us humans quite familiar yet different. I really seek and try to understand people to no end, but there are times where I cannot understand somethings and I will say, “That irks me!”.

Why do I say this you may ask? Well I don’t understand how a person can do something good for 95% of the time I mean really do something good for 95% of the time and when that 5% comes up and it is interpreted wrongly that this 5% ruins the other 95%! Here are the things that go through my mind?

What kind of sense does that make?
So does this 5% ruin the other 95% or is it a human thing?
Does this 5% define this person?

So let’s say a person is age 40 and for 2 of those years this person had a horrible time with drinking and they were an alcoholic for those two years. This two years can be somewhere in the 20-22 years of age. Does this one thing keep that person from moving forward and being an “honorable” person within society or is that person labeled an alcoholic for the rest of their life? Too big of a time frame? OK let’s say for 365 years a person has stayed healthy for 346 days a year. Throughout that year sprinkled through was 19 days of where they were sick. Is this person labeled a sickly person? If in your mind they are I just think that is dumb.

Another thing that irks me is that if you think someone is saying something and you aren’t quite sure they are saying what they are saying, ASK!!!! Plain and simple don’t let some dumb ass decision you are going to make be on some shit that you “think” is the issue. If you aren’t quite sure on it, just ask. It’s not hard, not hard at all.

Where is this coming from you may ask? I’ll just say this:

“I’m tired of opening myself up to relationships where I feel like someone understands me and allow them into the many, many layers of Big Ole Jerry V only for them to misunderstand something and use that against me and piss me the f— off.”

I’m not a perfect man and I’ve never said I’ve been one. One thing is for damn sure, I’ve tried my damned hardest in everything that I’m in. Be it my marriage, friendships, work, you name it. I’m a true friend and I will stick there to the end and even though someone misunderstood me and let me down I will still remain their friend. It just sucks that it had to be within my many layers of Big Ole Jerry Valentine.

I will say it’s rough sometimes as I know its rough for a lot of people out there. I love Renee so much as she understands that I can sit there and talk to her and let my heart open up and with tears coming to my eyes explain to her the struggle of being an overweight, black male in this society. There are stereotypes that a lot of people have to fight against and I will say the typical stereotype of an overweight, black guy that loves video games are:

He’s lazy.
He’s a slob.
He’s going to eat all the food.
He’s not going to get <insert task> done.

I could go on for days. Now don’t get me wrong I know there are other stereotypes that are out there for other race/sex/sexual preference/age out there. For this instance I’m talking about me. I try not to let it hit me hard today but today, it did and it sucked. It sucked bad. So I’ll do what I do ever f—ing year and f—ing bounce back like the man who I am. If you’re reading this and you think I’m talking about you, just ask and I’ll be man enough to tell you. Why you ask? Well it’s because I’m that type of guy and if you read this and wonder I’ll be f—ing surprised.

Oh and before you ask “No it has nothing to do with Renee and I. We’re great and I’m loving life.

Tao of Cao: Be you no matter what, regardless if the 5% ends up being marked as you screw the people who take that 5% and label you as it.

Much Love